wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
