That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
