My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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