I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
