I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
he just fucked me for my cheese.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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