I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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