Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
