If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
