If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
