u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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