But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
