And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
