I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
