just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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