he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Randomize
