Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
