what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
