you traded sex for a burrito?
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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