Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize