yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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