I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize