so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
