why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
