Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
