He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
