I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
