OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Randomize
