oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
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