I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
