Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I don't deserve a penis
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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