I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
