i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
