Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
