420 ftw
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
