you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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