It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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