I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
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