cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Someone signed my nipple.
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