Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
did you just send me my own nude
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
