Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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