i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
