I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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