Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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