i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
