question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
