you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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