I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
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