I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
you didnt know i had herpes?
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Randomize