Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
