apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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