I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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