I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
