I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Randomize
