The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Randomize
