I wanna passion pit in your ass
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
