Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize