I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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