I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize