Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
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she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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