the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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