2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
My penis needs a shock collar
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize